Effective communication skills are the hands down, most essential skill to possess when serious disagreement takes place in a relationship. Inadequate communication skills will only result in miscommunication and give rise to even more disagreements. If you intend to keep your relationship and make it last, then you have no better options than to learn up excellent communication skills.
I agree that not many people are blessed with excellent communication skills at birth, but if you are willing to begin by taking small, baby steps, and maintain your perseverance, you’ll undoubtedly able to communicate well with your life partner one day.
To have effective communication skills with your loved one, you must first bear in mind that men and women tend to practise different approaches when it comes to the topic of communication.
It is crucial to understand this fact.
Once you do, unnecessary negative arguments can be easily avoided, while constructive discussions take place. This is how disagreements strengthen a relationship.
Misunderstandings occur often between the two genders because men communicate with the «information» mindset, while ladies communicate with the «emotional» mindset, such as conveying their feelings or simply just telling out what’s in her mind.
When we listen to what the other gender says to us, our mind does not always interpret what he/she said to us the way he/she wants it to be interpreted.
This is a known fact that usually arises in dialogues between men and women that ultimately result in misconceptions in most cases.
For instance, if a lady talks about problems that she is having with a particular colleague, most of the time, she’s not looking for an advice or resolution.
Ladies just want to talk about how they feel, and to make their emotions known to public. On the other hand, man usually speaks to communicate their knowledge, to deliver specific information, or perhaps to assert his own authority in the group. Their nature of conversation is more factual in most times.
Partners usually tell the other half that they are «no longer communicating».
What they actually mean here is that they no longer felt understood or heard by his/her partner. In fact, they are still communicating!
However, their forms of communication are merely staying quiet, shunning each other, shouting at each other, intimidates each other, or other negative forms. Despite the fact that communications take place between two individuals, the truth is each individual could only be responsible for him/herself. Having said that, the changes that one individual make has the ability to create a polarity shift that completely turns the cold situation around.
Five important tips to improve communication skills among couples
1. Non-verbal communications.
What are your intonations? Do you sound like interrogating? Or do you respond defensively? More importantly, what does your body language tells your partner? You’ll need to look out your non-verbal communications because actions speak louder than words!
2. Ensure that you got the message across.
Your objective in communication should be delivering the message to your recipient. So, your main concentration should be to ensure that the receiving party understands what you want them to understand. The way you word your message is essential here so that your recipient would not interpret it otherwise. Speak in his/her language and you’ll be fine.
3. Focus on «now»
When uncertainty hits a relationship, the tendency is that he/she focuses on what had happened in the past or worries about what is going to happen in the future. To truly communicate effectively in this situation, you must shift our focus to the present – now. Changes will only take place at the present.
4. Feel him/her
You want to pay rapt attention so you see what he/she is going through. You want to feel his/her disappointments, interests, gestures, sufferings, the feeling of being neglected, or whatever else you could notice from the way he/she speaks. When you could virtualize the situation in your mind and put yourself in his/her shoes, then you are really listening. If you could do that, you’ll experience a whole new level of interaction.
5. Be respectful
This is the most vital factor to excellent communication skills. While the above four factors focuses on how you should behave, this last factor requires you to be respectful to how your partner would feel. His/her emotion is equally important in determining the outcome of effective communication skills.